I ended my writing last week sharing that I'm trying to sort through my white guilt and defensiveness.
Then I read this quote in Friday's reading:
"We cast a shadow on something wherever we stand, and it is no good moving from place to place to save things; because the shadow always follows. Choose a place where you won't do harm - yes, choose a place where you won't do very much harm, and stand in it for all you are worth, facing the sunshine." - E.M. Forster - A Room With A View
And it reminded me "okay - I can't erase that I'm white," my existence casts a shadow. So how can I acknowledge the shadow, and stand in such a way, to minimize the damage (or even cast shadow over things that are negative - can I cast my shadow over other people's cruelness, etc).
John Howard Griffin - author of Black Like Me - left in New Orleans in 1959, asked what “adjustments” a white man would have to make if he were black. (Don Rutledge)
And then the quotes they used from MLK on Saturday basically saying that the US can't remain the leader of the free world with 2nd class citizens. And that progress doesn't continue unfettered without hard work. So what hard work can I do, even while I cast a shadow?
On that front, I'm starting to feel a little antsy with all the readings. Don't get me wrong, they are super educational and challenging. But I'm like "okay, so WHAT CAN I DO??" I feel like there are so many potential ways to spend the energy I've developed as I've been reading from this project, but am not sure the best approach to use that energy. As I pray about it, I don't feel lead in a particular direction, called to a particular action [yet], but otherwise feel lead to steadfastly learning more, and being a presence as we sort this out as a neighborhood, city, and nation.
But like I said... that makes me feel antsy! Anyone else?
BtW - if you haven't had a chance to read about the genesis of The Repentance Project - check out the powerful story.